i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
