It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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