Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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