Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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