My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
