Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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