one two three fourrrrnication!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
