matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
