i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize