Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
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