When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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