also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
