So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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