Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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