I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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