It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
