just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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