Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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