I think I am morally bankrupt
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
