you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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