he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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