I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
