I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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