I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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