you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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