i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
