PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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