the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
