So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
