They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
