Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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