Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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