How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
