Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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