her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
