the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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