I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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