We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize