Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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