What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's never too late to be topless.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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