Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
