OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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