You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
