I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
