you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
