People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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