Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
