whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
