Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
