She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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