Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
