is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
