I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize