i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize