Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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