What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
