She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize