oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
