I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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