Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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