I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
