What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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