Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
