It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
