how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
