No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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