4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
